Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Bubbles and Rainbows

Packing up a house is hard work, especially when you have as much sheezy as I have. This sister and this sister came down and helped me tie up loose ends and they were invaluable. But as helpful as they were, my stress levels were still peaking at an all-time high. That also means Jack was totally getting the shaft- for days, maybe even weeks, on end.

On Sunday night, Jack begged me to blow bubbles with him outside. So my stressed out, mean self went outside with the needy little beast. I grabbed the bottle of bubbles and went outside and sat cross-legged on the telecommunications box. I started the bubble fest and then it hit me, this was my last evening on Jack Rabbit Dr. My last bubble-blowing session in the pink glow of a Southern California sunset on Route 66 (yes, I lived on Route 66. I always felt so special because of it.). I gave Jack a turn with the bubble wand and I stared up into the sky. Never has the sky looked so blue. Never has my heart ached so much.

So on that night, we blew bubbles for one hour. We blew bubbles until there wasn't light enough to see them. We blew bubbles at the airplanes leaving Ontario Airport. We blew bubbles on the bumblebees. And we blew bubbles to heaven. And all the while, I cried inside. Crying over never coming back to the house I brought my new, pink little Van home to. Never coming back to the house that I hated painting. Never coming back to the house that provided a place for my first washer and dryer. Hooray for no more quarters!

The next day, at 9:30 on the dot, we said a prayer and piled into the car. I rolled down Jack's window so we could blow the house a kiss. We said goodbye and went out the gates. As I made a u-turn and drove past one more time, the tears started to flow. I couldn't stop them. My heart hurt for all the memories left behind and the unsurity of our future. I turned left onto Archibald Ave and my car climbed up to the 210 freeway. The tears turned into a sob. And my sweet, sensitive Jack said, "Mom, don't be sad, be happy. I love you."

We drove out of California and into Nevada. Through Nevada and up to Utah. Somewhere in between Cedar City and Beaver, it started to rain a little. And then, for a small moment, a rainbow appeared right in the middle of my windshield view. I knew this rainbow was for me. I knew what it meant too. And for the first time in weeks, a calm wrapped itself around me.

FYI: During Ethan's surgeries and recovery over the next year or so, we will be living in Utah with the 'rents. Their generosity and love overwhelm us to the core. We are beyond grateful for their trust and support.


Andrea said...

I know it must have been hard, but I can only imagine how much fun Aunt Sue and Uncle Jack are going to have with you guys. I bet there is nothing but laughter and wonderful food! :)

MamaDonna said...

We'll miss you! I wish I had known you were leaving. I could've helped. Hopefully we'll see you guys again someday. Good luck with everything, our love goes out to you!

cat+tadd said...

As we drove out of Route 66 Mallory looked and me and said, "do you think she's ok?" I said, "of course Mal, that chick is a rock." And you are, you've handled everything so well, KUDOS!

Jones Family said...

How do those little one's just know the right thing to say. It's always so simple. The can totally put everything in perspective with one sweet phrase.
Your blog made me cry because I remember those feelings I had a year ago. Leaving the comfort of your routine, friends, the place where you brought your babies home to. It just sucks.
Good luck in Utah... Good luck with your gimp.

Consider yourself hugged...

ruth said...

WHAT THE H !!!!!!! I had no Idea you were moving!!!!! Your never coming back. Oh man. We'll miss seeing you at the family functions! Thank heavens for blogs. Good luck!

Jodi Jean said...

whitney, i will truly miss you!!

what a beautiful post. i was trying not to be frustrated with aidan on the day before i knew i was going to have finley ... i knew it was our last day just him and me. not the same feeling as you, but similar. sorry chick! i know everything is gonna be ok.

heather said...

It's a good thing we didn't really know much about your plans to live in Utah or we would have tried to sabotage them for sure. I can't imagine how hard it must be, but I know you guys will thrive where ever you are. Please don't stay away forever!

Aaron said...

Bummer. Doyers games won't be the same without Ethan.

rookie cookie said...

Andrea, yes, lots of laughter and good eats. My family is so good to my boys.

Donna, I know, totally sudden. But we will be back often. Maybe a little BW3s when we come next time?

Kitten, yes, it sucked. But I have gotten over the hardest hurdles.

Jones, thanks for the hug.

Ruthy, yes, I too will miss the familia functions. p.s. you are welcome to say on my blog whenever you want.

Jocole, I remember the day before I had Van. Kind of surreal. And yes, it is the same feeling. Trying to make the most of the last moments.

Heather, probably not living in CA ever again, but back for visits for sure.

Aaron, Doyers will miss Ethan too. Blake DeWitt NEEDS him.